Posts Tagged ‘Scottsdale’
Bachmann Waves Wand: Suddenly Sarah Palin is Yesterday
June 18, 2011
Sarah is in danger of becoming only the second most disgusting Republican woman who wants to be president.
Bachmann’s performance in New Orleans tonight was pure (if there is any such thing) Palin, from vicious attacks on Obama down to calling male attention to her underwear.
Referring to the recent New Hampshire debate, she said:
“I didn’t know if they were going to ask boxers or briefs – a girl never knows.”
It’s reported that she got a standing ovation for that line. Which figures, given her audience.
If you look at my most recent post, you’ll see I mention that an informed source told me recently that the one thing most likely to draw Sarah into the race would be Bachmann claiming her turf as GOP’s new sexpot loudmouth provocateur.
Memo to Sarah: it’s happenin’, babe. By Labor Day your theme song could be from the Beatles:
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
We’re not halfway through 2011 yet and already Bachmann is the Sarah Palin of 2012.
Will our gal just sit back and let that happen?
Stay tuned.
A year ago, Sarah’s worst problem was having me for a neighbor—though it was a problem only in her own disordered mind.
Now she’s at risk of sinking into the quicksand pit of obscurity that consumes used up political hucksters who haven’t noticed that they’re no longer tomorrow’s main course at the banquet, but only yesterday’s breakfast.
It happens fast, Sarah. Just like your arrival from nowhere happened fast.
By next year you could be doing Sunday morning infomercials for “Sarah Palin Scottsdale SPF 100 Sun Block.”
I wonder if she’s placed an advance order for THE ROGUE.
Probably she’s hoping for a free copy.
It won’t come from me.
Even the version shown to magazines this week for possible first serial excerpt in advance of Sept. 20 publication was redacted.
Just like the Palin emails.
There are revelations in the book that Random House/Crown just won’t risk having leaked prematurely.
Let me put it this way: if Sarah doesn’t announce her 2012 decision before Sept. 20 when THE ROGUE is published, I predict she won’t run.
And I know why.
Posted in 2012, Joe McGinniss, michelle bachmann, Sarah Palin, The Rogue | 
Tags: bachmann, breakfast, crown publishing, GOP, mcCartney, new orleans, palin scandals, provocateur, random house, Scottsdale, sexpot, sun block, the beatles, the rogue, yesterday | 
64 Comments »
Honestly now…//UPDATE: New neighbors offer advice via NYTimes
May 27, 2011
…if you had the choice of spending the summer on an air-conditioned bus (or, more likely, on an air-conditioned private plane that could drop you at a private airfield so you could board the bus minutes before your next destination and pretend to have been on it all along) or here:
where summertime temps reach 120 and where you can’t putter in your “little garden,” or mow the lawn with Trig on your back, and where there’s no “children’s play area” (unless you want to turn them into lizards), and where you yourself would fry in five minutes in your “shorts and tank top,” and where there’s no “family swimming hole,” not to mention no place for Todd to land his float plane…well, which would you choose?
Not to mention that your Political Action Committee can hardly ask people to donate for you to stay home.
Sarah tried that once, charging the state of Alaska per-diem for working out of her house on Lake Lucille, claiming that she was entitled because Wasilla wasn’t her “duty station.”
No wonder that this year she’s opting for the bus. Take a good look at that house and property (and, yes, that’s the compound she just bought and is moving into, even erecting a new fence around it): she spends a summer there and by September we’ll be calling her Osarah Bin Laden.
There’ll always be time next year for her new TLC show: Sarah Palin’s Arizona.
UPDATE:
NY Times (and who’s more “lamestream” than them?) offers Sarah advice from her new Scottsdale neighbors.
The one I feel sorry for is Monica Rahman,
who says that even though “the commotion was scaring her horses,” she’s “excited to have a new neighbor.”
The well-intentioned Ms. Rahman says she “plans to bring cookies to the Palins.”
I hope she’s ready to leave them at the outer gate. Having been a Palin neighbor, I’m pretty sure she won’t be welcomed with open arms.
Especially not after having spoken to the New York Times.
Good luck, Monica! Just check in here if you feel you need advice.
Posted in 2012, Joe McGinniss, Palin children, Sarah Palin, The Rogue, Todd Palin, Trig Palin | Tags: 2012 gop candidates, alaska, arizona, bus tours, cookies, extreme heat, GOP, GOP primaries, horses, lake lucille, monica rahman, neighbors, sarah palin 2012 campaign, sarah palin bus tour, sarahPAC, Scottsdale, the learning channel | 78 Comments »
“THE OFT-DEFEATED”—the OTHER Sarah Palin movie coming in June
May 26, 2011
THE OFT-DEFEATED
A DOCUMENTARY IN FOUR SCENES…WITH FIFTH SCENE TO COME LATER THIS YEAR OR NEXT.
SCENE 1: 1984
The film opens at the finals of the Miss Alaska Pageant, 1984.
LONG SHOT of contestants on stage.
VOICEOVER: “And the winner is……..”
CLOSEUP of expectant SARAH Heath
VOICEOVER: “Maryline Blackburn!”
MARYLINE BLACKBURN IN 2010
CLOSEUP of SARAH whispering to GOD: “I froze my ass off for you in Big Beaver or Little Beaver or one of them Beaver lakes when I got immersed for you in 1976. Don’t you ever let some black bitch beat me again!”
SCENE 2: 1997
Mayor SARAH sits with supporters at Wasilla Assembly of God church, looking at newspaper headlines proclaiming that the Alaska Supreme Court has just permanently prohibited Wasilla’s Valley Medical Center from banning second-trimester abortions.
SARAH: “That’s why we need Christian judges: so no branch of any federal or state government will ever bitch-slap Jesus again.”
OTHERS: “Amen! Amen, Sister Sarah! Amen, Queen Esther!”
Others leave. SARAH returns to her MAYOR’S OFFICE. She places a call.
SARAH: “Hey, Savior-Man, what’s up? You just slammed another door in my face.”
GOD: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Sarah. I’m trying to toughen you up for bigger fights ahead.”
SCENE 3: 2002
Election Night at “Palin for Lieutenant Governor” headquarters. Early vote totals make it clear that SARAH will lose.
CLOSEUP of SARAH, now speaking on cellphone:
SARAH: “WTF, Big Guy? How tough do you think I need to be? If you’re going to have some dude make a movie about me nine years from now and call it The Undefeated, it might be nice if you’d let me win something for once.”
GOD: “I only want the best for you, and I only give my best. Remember though: My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts…for as the heavens are higher than the earth, my ways are higher than yours! I wrote that all down for you in the Good Book! Look it up!”
SARAH: “Hey, chill a little. You’re God. You don’t have to use so many exclamation points.”
GOD: “Sorry, daughter, sometimes I get carried away. In any event, don’t sweat it. I’m going to send you a Down Syndrome baby who will make you the Republican nominee for vice president in 2008. And when you write Going Rogue you can quote me. You can even say, ‘I decided to write the letter as though it were from Trig’s Creator, the same Creator in whom I had put my trust more than thirty years before.’ You cool with that?”
SARAH: “Sure, but won’t there be copyright problems?”
GOD: “Not if you credit me properly. What do you think, I’m gonna sue?”
SCENE 4: 2008
LONG SHOT of McCain headquarters in Arizona. Cactuses wilt. Gila monsters curl into fetal positions. Rattlesnakes cry. Slaves escape from the compound. It’s obvious the McCain-Palin ticket has lost.
CLOSEUP of Sarah, talking to MCCAIN.
SARAH: “I wanna make my own speech.”
MCCAIN: “It’s just not customary. I can’t let you do it.”
SARAH: “Fuck you! It wasn’t customary to pick an ignorant, narcissistic backstabber to run with you in the first place. So don’t give me that ‘customary’ shit!
MCCAIN: “Listen, bitch: you dragged me down. You put that black Muslim in the White House. But I’m not going to let you steal my last act tonight.”
SARAH: “Let me tell you something, you wet old fart. If you’d have let me go rogue”—
INTERRUPTION as we hear “Onward Christian Soldiers” playing as a cell phone ring.
SARAH: “Excuse me, I’ve got to take this……Hello? Yes, this is her. Oh, God, good to hear from you. Hey, buddy, you didn’t open that door quite wide enough…..What’s that?……Yeah, yeah, that’s easy for you to say, but I’ve been defeated one more time, pal, and now I have to go back to effing Alaska. What circle of hell is that?!……Yeah, right, but you know what? You sound like the Brooklyn Dodgers, always saying ‘wait till next year.’…….What’s that? You’ve got me a deal on a one-point-seven million dollar house in Scottsdale?……You’ve got me the presidential nomination in 2012?……Okay, okay, but not so fast. What about the 2012 election? I lost to that black bitch Blackburn for Miss Alaska back in the day, and everytime I see Michelle Obama all I can think of is that. So no deal, Bro’, unless this time you’re gonna take me all the way…..What? What’s that?……Sorry, you’re breaking up……
FADE TO BLACK
Posted in 2012, evangelical, Joe McGinniss, Michelle Obama, Obama, Palin racism, right wing, Sarah Palin, Tea Party, The Rogue, Wasilla | Tags: arizona, assembly of god, baptism, big beaver lake, god, john mccain, little beaver lake, maryline blackburn, miss alaska, onward christian soldiers, queen esther, Scottsdale | 27 Comments »
NY Times Front Page: “Signs Grow That Palin May Run”
May 25, 2011
Nothing I haven’t been saying all along, but it’s suddenly the new mainstream meme.
Read it here.
Are there still doubters?
Posted in 2012, Joe McGinniss, mainstream media, Obama, right wing, Sarah Palin, Tea Party, The Rogue | Tags: 2012 primaries, glassner, GOP, sarah palin 2012 campaign, Scottsdale | 32 Comments »
Turn Back the Clock: FENCE DAY was 1 Year Ago Tomorrow //UPDATE: FENCE DAY, 2011, in Scottsdale
May 24, 2011
How time flies. Already it’s been a year since Sarah Palin accused me of peering into Piper’s bedroom window, Glenn Beck first called me a stalker and Todd Palin had a work crew double the height of the ten-foot fence between the Palins’ property and the lot on which my rented house stood.
As I write in THE ROGUE about May 25, 2010:
“All day, I hear hammering and sawing. Todd has about twelve guys throwing up a new fence that’s roughly twice the height of the old one. I’m all in favor of the fence. Maybe once it’s up, Sarah will chill and we can both get on with our business. No one brings over a blueberry pie.”
Sarah had written on Facebook the night before, “Maybe we’ll welcome him with a homemade blueberry pie tomorrow so he’ll know how friendly Alaskans are.”
Not surprisingly, she didn’t.
In fact, as tweets leaked to The Daily Caller demonstrate, Sarah’s chief enforcer, Rebecca Mansour, had a quite different idea:
May 25, 2010 5:35:46: Time to find a way to go medieval on this McGinniss. Don’t be fooled by the light tone of the FB post. The BigBoss is so upset by this.
5:36:56: It quite broke my heart to get the emails from her about this. She feel like big brother is watching her & her family…
16:00:56: I was thinking…of mailing him a dead fish.
I never got the dead fish, either. But I’d say Mansour, no doubt smiling out of the other side of her face today, is a dead duck in Palinland.
Oh, by the way, the first strong wind last fall blew down the fence. Todd’s about as capable a builder as Sarah is a fisherwoman.
UPDATE:
It’s been rumored since last week that Sarah and Todd have bought a new home in Scottsdale, Arizona.
I believe it. Especially after seeing this photo, sent by commenter “Jewels” to whom I’m, of course, grateful.
Looks mighty like a new fence going up around the house, doesn’t it?
I hope Todd and the gang do a better job with this one. You think Wasilla gets windy? Check this Fox News story about wind damage in Scottsdale last year:
Winds Damage Cars at Auction: MyFoxPHOENIX.com
And remember, Sarah, it’s an ill wind that blows nobody good.
Posted in Joe McGinniss, Palin children, Sarah Palin, The Rogue, Todd Palin, Wasilla | Tags: big brother, blueberry pie, c4p, car auction, conservatives4palin, dead fish, facebook, fences, high winds, ill wind, neighbors, rebecca mansour, Scottsdale, twitter | 76 Comments »
