JOE McGINNISS

Reuters reports:

Republican Sarah Palin rolled into Iowa’s state fair Friday, stealing the spotlight from the party’s presidential contenders and sparking a new round of speculation about her plans for 2012.

Palin’s visit to the cattle barn at the fair attracted a wild crush of photographers, reporters, fans and onlookers who swarmed the former Alaska governor, alarming the cows and bringing activity in the barn to a halt.

 

All she has to do is show up and the pretenders are thrown back into the shadows.

Love her or loathe her, you can’t write her out of the script.

Sarah makes her own metaphors, which saves me some work.

But this one? Honestly, at first I thought it was a parody.

Someone sent me a link to a post, allegedly by Sarah Palin, that said, in regard to her upcoming visit to the Iowa State Fair:

I’m excited to try some of that famous fried butter-on-a-stick, fried cheesecake-on-a-stick, fried twinkies, etc. I’ll enjoy them in honor of those who’d rather make us just “eat our peas”!

Surely, this wasn’t real.  Not even Sarah herself would say she was eager to eat fried butter on a stick.

But the line about “eat our peas” made me wonder.  Yes, Sarah is so resentful of Michelle Obama that she could take a cheap shot at the First Lady’s concern with improving the dietary habits of Americans in order to rein in our current epidemic of obesity.

So I went to SarahPAC and saw it was true–unless somebody hacked their account.

Then I started reading about the Iowa State Fair and saw that, yes, vendors really are offering fried butter on a stick.

And then I realized that Sarah has created her own perfect metaphor for herself.

She is fried butter on a stick.

She’s a grotesque novelty appropriate for a brief run on a carnival midway.

She offers only empty calories, no nutritional value.

She melts away to nothing when exposed to heat and light, leaving us looking for the nearest trash can, into which we can deposit the stick.

But Sarah’s carnival came and went in 2008.

Now she’s like a 1920’s vaudeville act in the age of talking pictures.

Her every attempt to recapture center stage becomes an exercise in self-humiliation.

Next stop on her bus tour?

Coney Island.

UPDATE: Report from the Fairgrounds

“Asked if she was ‘looking for votes,’ she told CBS News: ‘Looking for votes? I’m looking for hands to shake, and I’m looking for fried butter on a stick…'”

I sure hope the swarming media at the Iowa State Fair doesn’t blow the photo opp.

Britta’s mother spoke to Radaronline.com today about her pride in her new granddaughter.

She said:

“Kyla Grace is great.  She’s beautiful.  I’m very happy.  I love my daughter and my son-in-law very much”.

As for Sarah and Todd, Britta’s mom said only:

“They’re their own people; we’ve known each other for a long time.”

You can’t get much more diplomatic than that.

I met Britta’s father only once, for a handshake.  But a trusted friend told me he’s terrific.

Britta’s mother is said to be the same.

I met Track’s father only once.  He acted like a horse’s ass.

Track’s mother is said to be the same.

I met Track once and we had a brief but cordial conversation, about which I write in THE ROGUE.

I’ve never met Britta, but no one who knows her has ever said an unpleasant word about her to me.

So even if Sarah and Todd can’t be bothered to do it publicly, I’d like to step up and wish Track and Britta and their infant Kyla Grace Palin all the best.

Also:

so what when she gave birth?
so what when she got pregnant?
so what if Track and Britta got married three months ago, or if it won’t be “official” until this fall?

Their life is their business, and they’ve done nothing to try to profit by imposing it on us.

Only Track’s mother and father have done that. And continue to.

It’s only Sarah’s proven venality that makes me wonder why she hasn’t rushed to embrace Kyla Grace publicly.

I’d like to think it’s because–as some commenters here have suggested–Track and Britta have said no to selling public pictures of a private event.

I’d like to think these young parents (whether legally married or not) have made a joint decision not to let a mother/mother-in-law prostitute their infant daughter.

Given how Sarah pimped Trig and how Bristol is pimping Tripp, I can only wish them luck swimming upstream.

Conservatives4Palin, fresh from pretending to fill empty seats in movie theaters suckered into showing THE UNATTENDED, has a great new twofer idea:

It sounds like enough of our non-Iowa readers plan on being in Waukee, Iowa at the time of Governor Palin’s tea party speech on September 3rd at Highland Antique Acres in Waukee, Iowa that we could hold an informal C4P gathering perhaps on September 2nd for dinner before the event and then a dinner after her speech on September 3rd for whomever is still around. .

What a blast!

I can’t think of a bunch with whom I’d rather have an “informal gathering for dinner before…and then a dinner after…for whomever is still around.”

These Palinists sure know how to throw a party: “dinner before,” then “dinner after.”

My tireless research staff here at ROGUE CENTRAL has unearthed the menus planned for both dinners.

DINNER BEFORE: Taco mix in Frito bag, Slim Jim stirrer sold separately.

DINNER AFTER: Taco mix in Frito bag, paper towels for cleanup sold separately.

AFTER DINNER ENTERTAINMENT: RV race to Dairy Queen at 220 Highway 6: The driver of the winning Winnebago gets free Banana Cream Pie Flaming Strawberry Chocolate Mocha Vanilla Blizzard, with optional Cranberry Heath Bar Tornado Surprise, Lemon Pez Topping only $1.99 extra.

See you there?

Actually, I’ll probably be just down Laurel Street, washing away the tractor dust at Mickey’s Irish Pub, in the company of the fine Irish Tea Party lassies
who’ve kicked off the “Suck Straws for Sarah in 2012” campaign.